The mumbai effect

Do u remember the 80's bollywood.... the movies????...well few days ago i was watching swarag on Set MAX....i dont know if u all would remember but there is a scence in which Rajesh khanna kicks our Virar born jhampuck Hero Govinda on the grounds of robbery and our “I am gonna be a star one day sahabji ” comes to maya nagri Bambai(no called Mumbai)….one the station someone steals his “Peti” which has all the cutouts of all the stars on it with a bold “Krishna” written on it. He later somehow finds that guy and then this is typical dhishoom dhishoom happening and the all the bollywood masala…but then this post is not about that … this is about typical incidents that happen in mumbai Railway station..

Well last week I left my office early (well my boss says 7 PM is early… ) at Mahape, Navi mumbai to go to a optician in Dadar…. Well I did reach there by 8:30…saw the frames and glasses…didn’t buy cuz the frames were so costly that I thought I would better shift to lenses next month with some extra investment. so I came to dadar station to catch a local train to come back to vashi which required a change at the notorious station Kurla…. Yes…when I say notorious I mean it …its filled with pickpockets and beggars….

So I took as ticket and after waiting for 40 mins I some managed to get into a local to go to kurla. Was there is 10 minutes. Then ran 6 platforms to reach platform number 6 to get a local to vashi . The train came...me standing with my hands in my pocket…. Protecting my phones from the scum of the Kurla… yes my 2 phones… 1 Sony Erricson W810i and another Samsung Hero…Before the train stops the people are ready when it slows… half of ‘em are in it …. I take out my had to grab the bar…. 1…2…3.. 3 seconds pass… I get back…. I feel somewhat light…. My Phone is gone…. Biggest shock of my life… the biggest one….felt as if it is a bad dream and soon it will be over… but no…. it was reality… and now…I am one of the many… many unlike me who have been had by this city … looked around…ran here and there…but in vain…. I could not even see his face…he disappeared like a bee in the comb……

I was shattered… but got into the train…. Looked around but could not find him ….i had a hope that I might see my phone…but alas…it was gone….came back home.. all shattered…next day got my SIM Locked. Took the original BILL with the warranty card and went to Kurla station to file a complain(I knew they would not file a complain without it and I don’t usually travel will all the bills in my pocket) ….somehow found the Right place to file a complain…went in ..asked the mamu sitting in front of me...This is what happened

Me: Complain likhana hai
mamu: Kis cheez ka
me:Phone chori ho gaya
mamu:Kahan??
me:Kurla station par.
mamu:kahan se a rahe the??? kahan ja rahe the??? kab hua???? kaise hua
me:dadar se vashi ja raha tha...Kurla main change kiya .6 Number platform pe hua jab train main chad raha tha tab
mamu:to train ke andar hua kya?
me:nahi chadte time.
mamu:hmm..usne nikal liya aur tumhe pata hi nahi laga
me:pata laga hota to app mere ko murder charge ke liye arrest kar rahe hote
mamu(surprized) :Theek hai theek hai...Bill laye ho???
me:haan yeh raha....
mamu:are jeeb main rakh kar chalte ho kya?
me:nahi kal raat hui thi chori ajj ghar se la kar ayya hoon
mamu:...report yahan nahi wadala station main register hogi
me:oh....yahan nahi hoti kya?
mamu:nahi... harbour ki line hai...from Rey road chembur comes under wadala road
(suddenly a one from behind calls me)
mamu2:kya hua???
me:cellphone chori ho gaya ....

(and then he hears the entire story again)

Mamu2:Bill kaye ho???
me:haan yeh raha
(looks at it as if something really intresting....reminded me of chimp staring at a green color triange in planet of the apes)

mamu2:wadala jao... .wahin hoga

(ok.... even the previous one told me this smart ass )


so i hold both of my pockets ... one with wallet and other which has my cell phone and go to the ticket counter to by ticket for wadala road... all aleart and hurt... after 10 mins..which seemed like 10 years i was there. Upon reaching there i asked where was the GRP police station...they told me ..outside the station...so i went there all the way from fourth platform.... dragged myself... there was this big belly cop sipping tea reminded me of all sweet vendors back in my hometown Lucknow in the dhoti and big visible tummy....i said to him in a plain word that i wanted to file a report for the stolen mobile and can you take it down? he gave me that strange look and then told me.... woh to do number platform par hoga (that will happen at platform number 2) .Never in my two years of travelling had a seen a police station on a platform number 2 but then i thought and walked on.... something stupid in me urgred to double check it with the magzine vendor... i asked him "Is the GRP police station on platform number 2 " he is like this 50 year old guy...chewing pan... and suddenly looks at me and shoots more questions in 1 mins than the police my shoot while interrogating a murder scence.

So somehow i get rid of this person and head to platform number 2.and after some travelling beside railway tracks i find a police station... never understood why was it so hidden... reminds me of BATCAVE.... but then its time to be serious and not joking. I go inside and tell the cop sitting there... sir i need to file a complain about stolen mobile Phone and then i go about telling him the whole story again he then again tells me to show him the recipt... and i do that... he looks at and then say..."this is a computer generated recipt.where is the paper one?"

I wondered.. now how am i gonna tell the shop owner 2 years ago to give me a paper bill... but someone next to him with more brains than him told him"well these days recipts are compooter generated" and that was a relief... then he tells me to go and get a xerox done .... damn.,.. travel back to platform 1 go outside and get a xerox.... why dont police station have them??? but then it was my request...so i had to from the batcave and go all the way to platform one get out ... find a xerox shop...get a xerox done...came back and the n write a complain...

i was given a paper with carbon to write a complain. I was also provided with a standard template to copy from. The cop use to read it to me and then i use to write . he then smiled and said... look even a doc lost his phone ... this is his complain ... i was like.. oh.. so now a days its all about collecting reports.. hmm...good good... but then i fell silent and wrote the letter.

suddenly felt my throat parached as i had been running around for a very long time so i asked him in a very polite tone if i could have some water from the bottle that was lying on the table... i dont know from where but suddenly there was this new packed bottle of RC mineral water bottle that he popped out and offered to me... i suddenly could feel my thirst fading away cause i felt that after the report i am gonna be asked to pay for this and that too under the table but then i had no choice...took the bottle and had few large sips...and the completed the complain. He gave me a copy and the control room number so that i could call and check... i was waiting for him to say for some chai pani but he didnt.... i was surprised .... i left... it seemed to be a very long day....came back.... hada bath and feel asleep in shock.... its been 15 days ...i do call every 2 days ... but then all in vain

today morning i was reading about the incident of stolen cellphone case of a VVIP Vinod Khanna's Son last night and how police recoved it back over night.... sometimes i wonder .... are we the people of this country nothing more than a scum bag and all these VVIP are the real people???? but then... this is life .... VVIP will always be a VVIP and will get a VVIP service..a common man will always be no more than a moggot to his own country and that too most deprived of all.... long live my country.....