The mumbai effect

Do u remember the 80's bollywood.... the movies????...well few days ago i was watching swarag on Set MAX....i dont know if u all would remember but there is a scence in which Rajesh khanna kicks our Virar born jhampuck Hero Govinda on the grounds of robbery and our “I am gonna be a star one day sahabji ” comes to maya nagri Bambai(no called Mumbai)….one the station someone steals his “Peti” which has all the cutouts of all the stars on it with a bold “Krishna” written on it. He later somehow finds that guy and then this is typical dhishoom dhishoom happening and the all the bollywood masala…but then this post is not about that … this is about typical incidents that happen in mumbai Railway station..

Well last week I left my office early (well my boss says 7 PM is early… ) at Mahape, Navi mumbai to go to a optician in Dadar…. Well I did reach there by 8:30…saw the frames and glasses…didn’t buy cuz the frames were so costly that I thought I would better shift to lenses next month with some extra investment. so I came to dadar station to catch a local train to come back to vashi which required a change at the notorious station Kurla…. Yes…when I say notorious I mean it …its filled with pickpockets and beggars….

So I took as ticket and after waiting for 40 mins I some managed to get into a local to go to kurla. Was there is 10 minutes. Then ran 6 platforms to reach platform number 6 to get a local to vashi . The train came...me standing with my hands in my pocket…. Protecting my phones from the scum of the Kurla… yes my 2 phones… 1 Sony Erricson W810i and another Samsung Hero…Before the train stops the people are ready when it slows… half of ‘em are in it …. I take out my had to grab the bar…. 1…2…3.. 3 seconds pass… I get back…. I feel somewhat light…. My Phone is gone…. Biggest shock of my life… the biggest one….felt as if it is a bad dream and soon it will be over… but no…. it was reality… and now…I am one of the many… many unlike me who have been had by this city … looked around…ran here and there…but in vain…. I could not even see his face…he disappeared like a bee in the comb……

I was shattered… but got into the train…. Looked around but could not find him ….i had a hope that I might see my phone…but alas…it was gone….came back home.. all shattered…next day got my SIM Locked. Took the original BILL with the warranty card and went to Kurla station to file a complain(I knew they would not file a complain without it and I don’t usually travel will all the bills in my pocket) ….somehow found the Right place to file a complain…went in ..asked the mamu sitting in front of me...This is what happened

Me: Complain likhana hai
mamu: Kis cheez ka
me:Phone chori ho gaya
mamu:Kahan??
me:Kurla station par.
mamu:kahan se a rahe the??? kahan ja rahe the??? kab hua???? kaise hua
me:dadar se vashi ja raha tha...Kurla main change kiya .6 Number platform pe hua jab train main chad raha tha tab
mamu:to train ke andar hua kya?
me:nahi chadte time.
mamu:hmm..usne nikal liya aur tumhe pata hi nahi laga
me:pata laga hota to app mere ko murder charge ke liye arrest kar rahe hote
mamu(surprized) :Theek hai theek hai...Bill laye ho???
me:haan yeh raha....
mamu:are jeeb main rakh kar chalte ho kya?
me:nahi kal raat hui thi chori ajj ghar se la kar ayya hoon
mamu:...report yahan nahi wadala station main register hogi
me:oh....yahan nahi hoti kya?
mamu:nahi... harbour ki line hai...from Rey road chembur comes under wadala road
(suddenly a one from behind calls me)
mamu2:kya hua???
me:cellphone chori ho gaya ....

(and then he hears the entire story again)

Mamu2:Bill kaye ho???
me:haan yeh raha
(looks at it as if something really intresting....reminded me of chimp staring at a green color triange in planet of the apes)

mamu2:wadala jao... .wahin hoga

(ok.... even the previous one told me this smart ass )


so i hold both of my pockets ... one with wallet and other which has my cell phone and go to the ticket counter to by ticket for wadala road... all aleart and hurt... after 10 mins..which seemed like 10 years i was there. Upon reaching there i asked where was the GRP police station...they told me ..outside the station...so i went there all the way from fourth platform.... dragged myself... there was this big belly cop sipping tea reminded me of all sweet vendors back in my hometown Lucknow in the dhoti and big visible tummy....i said to him in a plain word that i wanted to file a report for the stolen mobile and can you take it down? he gave me that strange look and then told me.... woh to do number platform par hoga (that will happen at platform number 2) .Never in my two years of travelling had a seen a police station on a platform number 2 but then i thought and walked on.... something stupid in me urgred to double check it with the magzine vendor... i asked him "Is the GRP police station on platform number 2 " he is like this 50 year old guy...chewing pan... and suddenly looks at me and shoots more questions in 1 mins than the police my shoot while interrogating a murder scence.

So somehow i get rid of this person and head to platform number 2.and after some travelling beside railway tracks i find a police station... never understood why was it so hidden... reminds me of BATCAVE.... but then its time to be serious and not joking. I go inside and tell the cop sitting there... sir i need to file a complain about stolen mobile Phone and then i go about telling him the whole story again he then again tells me to show him the recipt... and i do that... he looks at and then say..."this is a computer generated recipt.where is the paper one?"

I wondered.. now how am i gonna tell the shop owner 2 years ago to give me a paper bill... but someone next to him with more brains than him told him"well these days recipts are compooter generated" and that was a relief... then he tells me to go and get a xerox done .... damn.,.. travel back to platform 1 go outside and get a xerox.... why dont police station have them??? but then it was my request...so i had to from the batcave and go all the way to platform one get out ... find a xerox shop...get a xerox done...came back and the n write a complain...

i was given a paper with carbon to write a complain. I was also provided with a standard template to copy from. The cop use to read it to me and then i use to write . he then smiled and said... look even a doc lost his phone ... this is his complain ... i was like.. oh.. so now a days its all about collecting reports.. hmm...good good... but then i fell silent and wrote the letter.

suddenly felt my throat parached as i had been running around for a very long time so i asked him in a very polite tone if i could have some water from the bottle that was lying on the table... i dont know from where but suddenly there was this new packed bottle of RC mineral water bottle that he popped out and offered to me... i suddenly could feel my thirst fading away cause i felt that after the report i am gonna be asked to pay for this and that too under the table but then i had no choice...took the bottle and had few large sips...and the completed the complain. He gave me a copy and the control room number so that i could call and check... i was waiting for him to say for some chai pani but he didnt.... i was surprised .... i left... it seemed to be a very long day....came back.... hada bath and feel asleep in shock.... its been 15 days ...i do call every 2 days ... but then all in vain

today morning i was reading about the incident of stolen cellphone case of a VVIP Vinod Khanna's Son last night and how police recoved it back over night.... sometimes i wonder .... are we the people of this country nothing more than a scum bag and all these VVIP are the real people???? but then... this is life .... VVIP will always be a VVIP and will get a VVIP service..a common man will always be no more than a moggot to his own country and that too most deprived of all.... long live my country.....

A weekend in life of me....

Phewwww.... what a weekend...w-h-a-t a weekend.... ..well it was holi .... now in case u dont know what holi is u can always go to this link and know about it .... well ... for the first time in my life...i didnt play holi ...yes... i feel so sad about it ...i slept all day.. i mean allll day... gotup by 2:30 PM....and by that time...everything was over .... well ... just before holi ..i mean a day before i bought a GAS connection...no no no... please ..it has nothing to do with the GAS which we humans generate....its all about the Cooking gas connection from Bharat Gas...well one thing was good .... i didnt have to wait for the connection nor "I" ,by gods grace have to come in the catagory of people who had to wait millions of years before they got the connection.... or mybe it was the the person applied for it when he was a kid and his grandChildren accepted the connection...well i got mine in Flat 1 Hr 30 Mintues.... yup... application got over by 4:45 ...the connection by 6:15... now thats what you call Smooooth.... the guy came in quickly setup all the things in the Kitchen...after it was over...





Then happened the Conversation

The Gas Guy:Saheb....HO gaya....(Its done sir)


ME :Sahi hai yaar (Great)


The Gas Guy:Saheb kuch Chai pani kara dijiye (Sir...how about some refreshment like tea or water(This means how about you shell out some money as a tip smart Ass) )


ME :Pani Bagal ki bottle main hai...aur chai ke liye na dood hai aur na vessel... kahan se banae tum batao. (Pretend to take it in litral sense and saying...well water bottle is next to you and as the connection is new...i dont have any vessel to make tea)


The Gas Guy: Are sare garib ke saath majak mat kariye (Sir please dont mock us some poor)


ME : Are sach keh raha hoon yaar.... (I aint lying)


The Gas Guy:Saheb 10-20 Rupay main kya jaega aapka...garib ki dua lagegi ...bal bachhe khoob phalenge. (Sir 10-20 bucks wont create a big hole in your pocket... we poor will give u bleesings and may ur children prosper)


ME : Are yaar Shadi hui nahi aur tumne bache pehle hi padia kar diye??? (Buddy ....i aint married yet and u are talking about my children)


The Gas Guy:Are saheb...bache paida karne ke liye shadi tohde na karna zaroori hai. (Sir... u dont need to be married to have children!!!!)


ME :...Theek hai mere baap...yeh lo 20 Ruppees.... ab jao.... (OK...take this 20 bucks... now go)


The Gas Guy:Are saheb...20 rupaiya main kya hota hai ajj kal..atleast 50 to dijeye (Oh sir but what happens in 20 bucks these days... atleast 50 pretty please)


Me : Abhi to 10 -20 keh raha tha... 20 diye to 50??? (Right now it was 10-20. now when i gave you 20...u want me to give you 50??)


The Gas Guy: Are saheb...Holi hai... (Sir its festive season holi....)

Me : Theek hai yaar... 50 le .... ja yaar ( ok ....take this 50 and go...)



Some times i wonder...is money that important thing in life???? he played on my emotion and took that i away.... i gave it thinking that he might celebrate and buy something for his family...but will he really do so??? i dont know...nor will i ever know... but it would be good if he did do something good....maybe buy some sweets for his kid....i dont know....



well that was the installation now comes the rest of stuff shopping like utensils and ofcourse ...stuff to make and eat...well... i headed to a Supermarket.....well according to sources in net.... the defination of Supermarket is





"A supermarket is a departmentalized self-service store offering a wide variety of food and household merchandise. It is larger in size and has a wider selection than a traditional grocery store."

well... one thing was for sure... it had wide variety of food and household merchandise .... and was pretty large in size.... but i guess they missed one thing in the definition... or maybe when it comes to defining situations inside a Supermaket in Mumbai.... damn... it was full of people ... all i could see was people people and lots of people... even at the entry gate there there was a line...which later was found to be the line for the cash Counter.... and yes.... major Stink inside...

A must when visiting Mumbai Supermarkets on weekends

Trust me ... Fish markets smell better then that .... i somehow got inside...tried picked up my stuff from the list i had brought for shoping ...the Airconditioner was good for nothing... didnt even knew if it was working....The air only had stink of all the gross smelling perfumes mixed with all the stick of the sweat...

i guess i was so happy that i was neither Asthamatic nor Claustrophobic.... so some how i survived the picking of the stuff i wanted... picked up something in 30 minutes...actually it was just a box of Kellog's Corn flakes and Quacker Oatmeal and a pack of milk bottle for my tommorow's breakfast... had a big list when i came...but i guess... had i tried to get everything... it would have taken me ages considering the people in here.... finally i kept the bag aside looking at the queue at the cash counter which seemed never ending...


I left... well it took another 15 minutes to get out and when crossing lines to assure people that i was not intercepting them to get ahead but just leaving the market.... Phew.... what a journey... looking from outside .... all that i could see from a big side window was people, people and only people....the joking part of me said... wooh... do these people get money for free or what???? i mean so many people shelling out so much money .... but the other side ...the serious one made me remember a book which i read back in college when i had nothing to do and all i did was fooling around and reading books apart from my course ones... it was called "The Caves of Steel by Isaac Asimov"... The eponymous "caves of steel" were vast city complexes covered by huge metal domes, capable of supporting tens of millions each....Is that where my country is headed to??? Already the Price of land is increasing... more and more tall complexes are rising, less and less pure air to breathe... all you can hear is honk and screems.... dont even remember the voice of a sparrow or a piegon ..... or matter of fact even a crow.... nights are all dark and starry nights now only means parties with Movie Stars..... Is this is what is called Developing country??? Is there where we are headed to???


I was once talking to a person from Estonia in a chat room.. had a long talk about ourselves and our countries...well i did my own research too on Estonia after the conversation... well to my surprise Estonia has population of total 1,324,333 or lets assume 1.4 Million...total area as 45,226 km² or 17.413 SQ Mi.... and forget about India..Mumbai...yes...Mumbai on 2001 census had population of 1,914,398 and agglomeration in 2006 says 19,944,372 i.e nearly 20 MILLION.... and in area of 437.71 km² ..hmmm... so 1.4 Million in area of 45,226 km² and 20 million in area of 437.71 km² ... ... if this is what developing is called then i guess its better to be primitive..


I sometimes laugh when i think about Indian Television...During my School days my friend and me got pretty pissed when we came to know that exciting stuff has been banned from Indian television... i but everyone at that time felt that Sushma Swaraj who was the Information and broadcasting minister at that time should be brought to Flora Fountain and be burnt alive for what she did.... but i guess what she did was right...People play some much games in Bed when he exciting stuff is banned... god knows what the population would have been had that not been banned.


When in 9th grade sitting at the back bench use to giggle when teacher use to tell us that due to non availability of recreation... lots of people use to play games in bed... i wish they had just put on the glove and the population would have been in control...i wonder...in olden days...was it a Game of pride which was played by the villagers in which when two villagers use to comeout of their houses in morning and then use to look at each other and when one looking at the other and the trail behind them of children or so called successor(dont know which one will succeed but lets assuing the eldest one will) ....Winner use to twist their moustaches and then smile and go to the farm or the haat and the loser use to frown and run back inside ...pull his wife into the room and lock the door and bang bang and 9 months down the line one more to stand in the trail??? ...god knows.... maybe...maybe not...


Remembering the use of using the glove ...i just remembered a movie i saw last weekend in which the Male protagonist asks his friend and when he indulges in so much of rolling around in bed... doesnt he use the glove??? to which he replies..

"Do you like to eat chocolate with wrapper on it?? "

haha.... do we really like to eat chocolate wtih wrapper on it??? I guess its better to eat the chocolate with Wrapper on it rather than having lots of crumbs of chocolate and choclate lovers around you who would later again do the same thing....



Think.....

phew....one more week ends.... ahha tommorow comes saturday... i have no hectic work...can rest ...maybe not.... have to shift my place.... got a new place ... this one is bigger and better... old guys wanted me to move out .... they wanted some college friend of theirs to move in ...i said no probs...wont wait for a whole month to finish .... will do it by this weekend .... now tommorow i move of...
spent my whole day today talking to my cutie pie on mail and searching about books ...evne though i have a trail of pending ones to read...god knows when i will finish them... the list includes
1.)My name is red by Orhan Pamuk
2.)To Kill a mocking bird by Harper Lee
3.)Love in time of cholera by Gabliel Garica Marquiez
4.)The Pianist by Wladyslaw Szpilman
5.)Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco
6.)The Pulp Fiction
phew.... dont know when i will complete them... lets see

Today .... well actually from past two days there have been lots of discussion about the robotics i did with my college friends.... the list includes
1.)Pandey ...AKA Pankaj Kumar Pandey
2.)MishraJi...AKA Swapnil Mishra
3.)Motua ... AKA Rohit Kunal
4.)Bholu... AKA...ME...Prateek Shukla
listening to Howard Shore's Beacon hill on my W810i it seems as if a flash back is happening...miss those days...days were tough... but so were we....didnt fear anything as we had nothing to lose .... it happens...maybe this is what they call as warm blood...as we grow up we come to the dependencies and life changes... never mind the song changed to another brick in the wall by Pink floyd...

Pink Floyd

Damn i still wonder.. these people made these songs when my dad use to be a kid and even now..the band that started making songs in 1965 still rocks in the heart of the teenage who might think that 80's is old and 60's is prehistoric ..;)

Roger Waters Came to Mumbai...couldnt go.... but then .... Roger Waters is Roger Waters...not Pink floyd.... and David Gilmour is David Gilmour... not Pink Floyd David Gilmour ,Nick Mason ,Richard Wright and Roger Waters together made Pink Floyd... and with their ways parted...Pink Floyd magic can never me back.... i sometimes wish i was born in 60's .... would have enjoyed the Floyd... alas... i can never be there....

Some times we hope to much....now where did this hope come in.... well...here it is.....high hopes...

Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had begun
Along the long road and on down the causeway
Do they still meet there by the cut
There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The nights of wonder

Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide
At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world
The grass was greenerThe light was brighterWith friends surroundedThe nights of wonder

hmmm....... goooood nightttt

I am the Pen

I am the Benevolent pen.....what do u do i ask??? In your world i write...I my world i say i cry .... my tears... they flow ...filling the page...scribbing it .... when it lands in hand of a child it becomes a simplicity of a childs mind... when in a hand of reformer..it bring the changes...when in hand of a revolt brings sadness...i move... sometimes left to right ...sometimes from right to left... sometimes top to bottom and some times even i dont know where i will land

Right now i am in a hand a guy who is trying to survive...yes survive... a optimestic might call it living but i may call it surviving... ok go ahead...call me pessimestic... but he is not .... what we will see in coming days will be his journey through his life...sometimes happy...sometimes sad... and mostly about the city where he is right now.."MUMBAI"...

let me Dance...its time for me to dance in his hands....here i Go!!!!!...